Somehow I Know
by oXXb00kw0rmXXo
Summary: We lost. We lost everything. We lost our leader, we lost our home, we are alone. And it’s only getting worse. Soon I will be alone. Completely alone.


**edit: Not a new chapter, just some grammar that was bugging me. I _had_ to fix it!**

**Here it is. Another sad fic. If you're a fan of my work, you may know I have a goal to meet. I am so very close... but I'm not sure if this counts as meeting it, since it's not said directly. My goal is to kill all the Cullens and a few more main characters. I have done Edward, Bella, Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, and Charlie so far (this does not count this story!). Let me know if you think I met my goal for the Cullens :). Well, it should be :(...**

**This was written for a challenge. Sorry, couldn't help myself! I get kinda addicted to challenges.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

He's dead. I never expected that he would be. My mate, my life, my love… dead. Just dead. It has barely reached me as it is. I feel empty- like a part of me is missing. I haven't done anything since the wedding except wander around aimlessly. The family has been trying to get me out of trance, but it's no use- we're barely a family anymore.

We lost. We lost everything. We lost our leader, we lost our home, we are alone. And it's only getting worse. Soon I will be alone. Completely alone. Bella is ready to die. It's all Alice can do to keep herself in Forks. Emmett just wallows in misery. Our family- no, our coven- is in shambles. What's worse is that we've been given a choice- join the ones that killed them or kill Bella.

She's not even frightened. She knows that it's a possibility that we will kill her, but she doesn't mind, I don't think she cares about anything anymore. Of course, there were other casualties outside of the family. Charlie, Renee, that nice girl Angela, Mike Newton, that bratty Jessica who tried to date Edward a few years ago…

I choked back a tearless sob. _Edward_… my son. My son who I had come to love and care for as if he was mine. And right after he had found his love. Right after he had been tied to her forever, he was brutally killed. I remembered screaming as I was forced to watch my husband and my son be torn apart, screaming until my throat was raw. They attacked him as he protected Bella. She was thrown to the side roughly, hitting her head on the tables that had been set up for what was supposed to be a marvelous party. As the blood leaked slowly, but surely, out of her wound, she managed to crawl over to Edward's struggling body. He was nearly in pieces. They had the lighter ready and everything.

_"Edward,"_ she had whispered hoarsely. "_Take it. Take my blood. Just once, please."_ And Edward had obliged. He was too weak to resist. Rosalie, with new care for the human girl, managed to grab her away before she was sucked dry.

Rosalie was thrown aside from Emmett when she tried to help him win. Rosalie always had a bit of a temper. She was up and fighting in no time. They ignored her until Edward was no more than ashes and Emmett was too injured to struggle- but then they had vengeance in mind.

She was struck and cried out as they tore her hair from the elegant hairstyle Alice had made for the day. That was enough to immerse her in her memories. They ripped her head off her shoulders and her arms from her torso. She didn't feel it. She screamed, cursing the ones who had led to her vampircy in the first place. She screamed for the life she had lost and for the one she was losing now. My daughter… my beautiful daughter was dying before my eyes and I could do nothing. Bella was laying beside me, bleeding to death, and I could do nothing, though they had let go of my arms. I was frozen with shock, with sorrow, with _pain._

Jasper tried to comfort me through it all… oh, Jasper!

They held Jasper near the blood they spilled- they knew he had trouble. The blood, still warm, seeping out of the lifeless humans, had pooled around his feet, the scent luring him in. He struggled uselessly, trying to get away from them, from the blood. And then they caught Alice. It was too much. They ripped off her arms as she shrieked. Jasper couldn't take it. He gave up. He would let them kill him if it meant that Alice would live. Her begged for her life in place of his. They happily granted his wish. He died valiantly.

* * *

"You killed him?" I heard screams from downstairs, breaking me from my memories. "I told you to keep him alive! I told you to keep them all alive! And I told you; only kill them if they got in the way!"

"He _did_ get in the way, though," another voice argued. "We followed orders. Besides, when did you become in charge! This was _my_ plan, you didn't need to come if you were just going to interfere!"

"I had to keep him safe, though! He may have… he may have found another, but that doesn't mean my feelings haven't changed! And why bother killing the human?"

"She's in love with the wolf, too. If we let her live, she'll go to him and warn him. It's all your precious Edward's fault anyways. He's the one that attacked us."

"Irina, don't you pin this on him! It was _your_ fault! _Your_ thoughts betrayed the plan!" A smack was heard, loud and clear, even in Carlisle's locked office.

"Don't you _ever_ blame me on something like that again, Tanya, or you will regret it. Eleazar! Take her upstairs to join the Cullens. We'll finish her up after they make their choice. Oh, and can you tell them that they have one day left to choose? If not, they'll join us _and _we'll kill the human." Irina's voice sounded cruel and cold, more like an enemy and less like an old friend. I don't suppose that we even are friends any more…

The door was thrown open and Kate stepped aside from her guarding spot. Eleazar appeared, dragging Tanya along as she kicked and screamed.

"No! No, I won't! I won't, I won't! Let me go!" The man's face was resentful and guilty, but his words sounded unsympathetic.

"Tanya, you brought this upon yourself. Esme, Alice, Emmett- make your decision. I'll be back in twenty four hours." With that he left us. Tanya's sobs were the only things that broke through our silence.

* * *

"I'm sorry, Esme, I'm so sorry! I-I-I tried to stop them, b-b-b-but Irina… she wanted to get to the wolves so badly. For killing Laurent, you see. But I knew that B-b-bella was friends with one and if they were hurt that Edward would be mad and… oh, I'm so sorry!" I wanted to be mad, I wanted to angry with this girl, but I couldn't help it. She was the one that had stopped Irina from killing Bella. And she was so upset! My mothering instincts set in and I comforted her.

"It's okay, I know you are, you tried to help, I'm not angry with you." It registered how dead, how lifeless my voice sounded. Tanya's sobs halted and came to a close. She huddled into a ball in the corner, preparing herself for death.

"No!" Bella shrieked in her sleep. I hadn't even noticed that she _had_ fallen asleep. It must have been late. "No, Edward! EDWARD!" Kate's shouts of frustration sounded from outside and the room was suddenly flooded with light.

"Shut her up, or I will!" Before we could do anything, Kate struck Bella across the face. The fragile girl awoke quickly, her tears rolling down her face with no restraint. "Be quiet. I don't want to hear your screams for your _Edward_. Might as well go back to the dog- or maybe not. He'll be dead soon, too."

"Jacob," Bella whispered as the door slammed shut again. "Edward."

"Shh, Bella, shh…" Emmett picked up the human he used to tease and rocked her back and forth and Alice spoke soft words to her. Tanya crawled over to me silently, gazing around the room with interest.

"Does Carlisle still have that picture of the Volturi?" she asked, as her eyes fell on photos he had put up of the family.

"Yes, it's over there," I responded softly, pointed to the wall behind us. "I suppose it's mine now, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess it is. I loved Edward, but I never meant for Bella to be hurt. I guess… I guess if she's good enough for him, I can live with that. As long as he's happy, you know? I never wanted to hurt her or him. You know that, right?"

I nodded slowly, surely. Yes, I knew. How could I not? Her sincerity when the Denali clan showed up at our door a week before the wedding was apparent. But the rest's greetings and good wished were weak. We should have known. But their plans involved the wolves. Alice couldn't have seen anything.

* * *

Carlisle tried to stop it when Edward leapt at Irina. He stepped between them, tried to talk calmly. Eleazar was under Carmen's control though, and Carmen under Irina's. My husband was held back, thrown whole into a fire. And then they destroyed him, burning the pieces as they went. He had screamed in agony, not for himself, but for us. He tried to save us all. He tried to save Edward. He tried to save Rosalie. He tried to save Jasper. But it was no use. I could be grateful for one thing. He was killed before having to watch _this_ happen to us, before we would possibly need to kill our son's love.

Without Carlisle, we had no motive, no father, no leader. We could barely consider ourselves a family anymore- Carlisle was the one that made it that way. We were a coven, a coven that was falling apart at the seams.

"She's asleep again," Emmett's usually booming and lively voice whispered, quietly and dead. "What are we going to do? I don't want to help kill the wolves!"

"I've become rather fond of them, to tell you the truth," Alice admitted. "We're not friends, we're still enemies, but we're on better terms then with _them_."

"But we can't kill Bella either!" Tanya protested. "I'm going to die either way, but there must be _some_ way that you can all get out of it!"

"Kill me… Edward… be with you… heaven," Bella mumbled and her heart sped up. She wasn't asleep. She was faking it. She would die for our freedom. For our lives. Alice's tone turned stern.

"You're not asleep, Bella, I know! Wake up! Get up! We are _not_ giving you up!"

"I'm just a stupid human!" Bella's act was done and she was fighting back, however weakly it was. With no food for over twenty four hours, she was bound to be starving. "Kill me now! I've caused all this trouble and it's over! It's all over! You don't need to keep me safe anymore! I have no one to keep myself safe for! Charlie's dead, Renee's dead, Edward's dead, and let's face it, whether you help or not, Jake will be dead too! Let me join them, kill me now!" She wanted death… who was I to deny it to her?

She was right. Everyone we had ever loved and cared for were dead. I couldn't defy my own wishes either. I made my decision in that instant.

* * *

We have waited another twenty four hours. Bella has collapsed from thirst and hunger. It's all we can do to stop from killing her ourselves, to resist the thirst and to take her out of the misery. They are ready for our answer.

My name is Esme Cullen. I have lost my three sons, two adopted and one biological. I have lost a daughter. I have lost a husband. And I am about to lose my life.

And somehow, I know that Carlisle is right. Somehow, I know that my family is waiting for me, for us, in the clouds. Somehow, I know it will all be okay.

* * *

**Sorry, I killed them all. And I know the Denali aren't bad, but... well, I couldn't help myself! It just came up halfway through! To be perfectly honset, I had no idea what was happening as I wrote. I didn't even think I would kill them in the end. It just happened. I didn't know it was a fight at the wedding, I didn't know it was about Laurent and the wolves, I didn't know it would be Irina!! So, don't blame me... blame the plot. It just happened. My fingers get carried away when I write. I hope you enjoyed it... though enjoy wouldn't really be the best word.**


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